Why "We Are a Family" is a Lie—and What to Say Instead

Let’s be clear: the phrase "We are a family" needs to die a quick and merciless death in the corporate world. It’s a cliché. It’s manipulative, even if often bosses who say it mean well when they say it. And worst of all, it’s untrue. Companies that use this phrase blur the lines between professional relationships and personal bonds.

Here’s why this messaging is not just misguided but harmful—and what leaders should be saying instead.

1. Companies Are Not Families—They’re Transactions

Let’s be honest: a family is unconditional. No matter how badly you screw up, your family doesn’t fire you. In contrast, companies are transactional. The moment the market turns, that "family" vibe is replaced with layoffs, restructuring, and “We need to pivot.” Remember how in 2012 Larry Page said to Fortun how Google should be like a family How does this relate to Google lays off hundreds of 'Core' employees or Google's CEO said it had cut managers, directors, and VPs by 10% as part of its efficiency drive

A business relationship is not inherently bad—far from it. But pretending it’s familial creates confusion. Employees may feel betrayed when their loyalty isn’t reciprocated. Leaders may struggle to enforce accountability if they’ve framed every interaction in terms of “love” and “belonging.”

2. It Undermines Boundaries

Saying “we’re a family” encourages employees to overcommit. You’ll see people skipping vacations, answering emails at midnight, or burning out entirely—because that’s what families do, right? They sacrifice for each other.

But here’s the kicker: companies will happily take that sacrifice without guaranteeing any reciprocal care when the times get tough. And this is not inherently a bad thing - a company needs to survive to give work to as many people as possible, and sometimes your skills may not be essential for this. There should be no hard feeings about that. But when as a boss you’re pushing employees to “go the extra mile” while also maintaining at-will employment policies, you’re not a family. You’re a corporation exploiting the family metaphor.

3. It Breeds Cynicism

Most employees have been around long enough to know that “we’re a family” is corporate lip service. When leaders parrot this line, it feels disingenuous and erodes trust. Workers start to assume that other corporate values—like innovation or transparency—are just as hollow. In times when efficiency and disruption are main trends of the year, leaders desperately need intrapreneurial spirit and innovation of your employees to keep company growth.

Your workforce doesn’t want a family. They want a clear mission, respect, and fair pay. Overplay the “family” card, and you risk alienating the very people you’re trying to inspire.

4. It’s a Shield for Poor Leadership

Too often, “we’re a family” is a euphemism for “put up with our dysfunction.” Toxic workplace culture? No problem—“we’re family.” Overwhelming workloads? Deal with it—“that’s what families do.”

Strong companies don’t need to lean on emotional manipulation. They attract and retain employees because they offer meaningful work, a supportive culture, and a clear sense of purpose.

What to Say Instead

If “we’re a family” is out, what’s in? The answer lies in honesty, clarity, and purpose. Here are three alternatives:

1. “We’re a Team.”

Teams are high-performing, goal-oriented, and interdependent. Unlike families, they exist to achieve a specific mission. Teams also operate within defined roles and boundaries—coaches lead, players execute, and everyone’s job is clear.

By framing your company as a team, you set the expectation that everyone’s contribution matters. At the same time, you acknowledge that people will come and go based on mutual needs.

2. “We’re a Community.”

Communities thrive on shared values, respect, and accountability. Unlike families, they don’t demand blind loyalty—but they do require mutual investment.

This framing is particularly powerful for mission-driven organizations. A community suggests that while people may have different roles, they’re all working toward something bigger than themselves.

3. “We’re Partners.”

Partnership implies balance. Both the employer and the employee bring value to the table, and both stand to benefit. By positioning your company as a partnership, you signal that you respect your workers as equals—not children in need of “parental” guidance.

The Bottom Line

Leadership is about trust, transparency, and purpose—not paternalism. Ditch the “we’re a family” trope and adopt language that reflects the reality of your workplace: a collection of talented, driven individuals working toward a shared goal.

Your employees will thank you. Your culture will thrive. And your company will be stronger for it.

2025, Intrapreneurship Lab